Showing posts tagged women

Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.

This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.

I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.

I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.

As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.

(Reblogged from shannibal-cannibal)
Well, let me just put a stop to this shit right now. You can give me gold-plated day care and an awesome public school right on the street corner and start paying me 15% more at work, and I still do not want a baby. I don’t particularly like babies. They are loud and smelly and, above all other things, demanding. No matter how much free day care you throw at women, babies are still time-sucking monsters with their constant neediness. No matter how flexible you make my work schedule, my entire life would be overturned by a baby. I like my life how it is, with my ability to do what I want when I want without having to arrange for a babysitter. I like being able to watch True Detective right now and not wait until baby is in bed. I like sex in any room of the house I please. I don’t want a baby. I’ve heard your pro-baby arguments. Glad those work for you, but they are unconvincing to me. Nothing will make me want a baby.

And don’t float “adoption” as an answer. Adoption? Fuck you, seriously. I am not turning my body over for nine months of gaining weight and puking and being tired and suffering and not being able to sleep on my side and going to the hospital for a bout of misery and pain so that some couple I don’t know and probably don’t even like can have a baby. I don’t owe that couple a free couch to sleep on while they come to my city to check out the local orphans, so I sure as shit don’t own them my body. I like drinking alcohol and eating soft cheese. I like not having a giant growth protruding out of my stomach. I hate hospitals and like not having stretch marks. We don’t even force men to donate sperm—a largely pleasurable activity with no physical cost—so forcing women to donate babies is reprehensible.

The Real Debate Isn’t About “Life” But About What We Expect Of Women | The Raw Story (via brutereason)

"So, reading those three paragraphs above? I bet at some point you recoiled a bit, even if you don’t want to have recoiled a bit.  Don’t I sound selfishHedonistic? Isn’t there something very unfeminine about my bluntness here? Hell, I’m performing against gender norms so hard that even I recoil a little.

This is actually what I think, and I feel zero guilt about it, but I know that saying so out loud will cause people to want to hit me with the Bad Woman ruler, and that causes a little dread. Why do we feel this way?

What kind of training and socialization did we receive that made us think there’s something terribly wrong about a woman who is hurting no one and is actually pretty nice but wants what she wants in her private life and doesn’t apologize about it? Is there a reason that we should bully women into pretending that they’re more interested in being selfless and eternally nurturing than they actually are, even at great cost to themselves?”

(via voicesforchoices)

(Reblogged from thebicker)
(Reblogged from crunchierkatie)

thededucer:

merkkultra:

do men have resting bitch faces as well or do they not have negative characteristics ascribed to them for putting on a neutral rather than a deliriously happy facial expression

woah. good point.

(Reblogged from cockleshells)

"I’m reluctant at this stage in the game to expose you to new ideas, but having taught you all history on a strictly non-gender-orientated basis I just wonder whether it occurs to any of you how dispiriting this can be? Can you for a moment imagine how depressing it is to teach five centuries of masculine ineptitude.

Why do you think there are no women historians on TV? I’ll tell you why: Because history’s not such a frolic for women as it is for men. Why should it be? They never get around the conference table. In 1919, for instance, they just arranged the flowers, then gracefully retired. History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.

And I’m not asking you to espouse this point of view, but the occasional nod in its direction can do you no harm.”

- MRS. LINTOTT (The History Boys 2006)

(Source: brucewayneissexy)

(Reblogged from cockleshells)
(Reblogged from legally-bitchtastic)

kdhart:

summerscourtney:

One of the first things I did when stuff started falling into place with my writing career was talk about it with people like it was all this questionable accident.  “Yeah, I wrote a book and it’s being published,” I’d say, like it was nothing—not like it was easy, but like it was literally nothing.  It was amazing how quickly I was willing to let go of the hard work and sacrifices I’d made in hopes the thing I wanted to happen would.  When it did, I did not want anyone to be uncomfortable or, God forbid, like me less for my accomplishments.  Before I gave anyone a chance to be proud of me, to celebrate with me, I wanted them to know I was so sorry first. 

Eventually a friend emailed me and told me I could work that angle less and when she did, I realized how truly scared I was of claiming my part in what I made happen for me.  It’s so sad so many of the accomplished, hardworking women I know struggle with owning their success. How immediately they will tear themselves out of that part of the picture because it just doesn’t look as nice with them in it.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is: that’s enough of that.  Let’s stop.

already reblogged this on ya highway but putting it here too b/c a) important and 2) courtney is the best.

(Reblogged from cleolinda)
The violence we teach our sons in teaching them to Be Men is the same that keeps us up at night worrying about our daughters.

(via moeyhashy)

yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

(via postwhitesociety)

(Reblogged from maggieblueberry)

laughterkey:

cumaeansibyl:

this is legit btw

I mean, there were folkloric heroes like Robin Hood before the Scarlet Pimpernel, but they didn’t really do the secret identity — people might not have known Robin Hood’s real identity but he wasn’t out living a double life and his costume was just what he and his buds wore in the forest, whereas the Pimpernel was actually doing the exact same thing as Bruce Wayne (pampered aristocrat by day, avenging hero by night)

also I wanna point out that the Scarlet Pimpernel was actually the leader of a league of twenty people also living double lives — Baroness Orczy also invented the first superhero team

Also The Scarlet Pimpernel is goddamned amazing and if you’ve never read it you’re missing out.

(Source: geekmehard)

(Reblogged from shu-of-the-wind)

mgherian:

it’s really interesting how so many mythological creatures that are exclusively female (harpies, banshees, sirens) are described as having really piercing or unpleasant or otherwise notable voices? sirens kill men with their songs, banshees shriek when someone is about to die, harpies are awful cawing bird-women

(watch out for the girls who know how to make noise; we are monsters)

(Source: wolfthicket)

(Reblogged from cockleshells)